So much energy and emotion are consumed by leaders worrying about giving feedback to their team. They stew on it, agonising over the upcoming conversation. They lose sleep, tossing the scenarios around in their mind at 2am, imagining only negative outcomes and sudden resignations. The result is a delayed or avoided conversation, and an ineffective leader whose focus is gone, and has nagging self-doubt.

Much of this worry is created by having poorly onboarded the team member in the first place, with no clear expectations set, a lot of assumptions made, and no explanation of what happens if the new team member is underperforming or not fitting in.

I see business owners fretting, and team members oblivious to the negative impact that they may be having.

So I am proposing an alternative approach. The opportunity model, or context.

Try this on for size.

All we do as business owners is provide opportunity, The opportunity to have a job, to grow, to learn, to earn, to develop, challenge, achieve and excel, and thrive. The prospective new team member, once offered this opportunity, must merely accept it or not. But accepting the opportunity means committing to making the most of it, and showing the business owner every day that they still want it.

If at any point they no longer want the opportunity, they just have to say so.

Sometimes they behave as if they no longer want it, but don’t say anything. But their actions indicate it. They are showing it in their attitude, their performance, their punctuality, or their behaviour toward others.

Our responsibility as business owners or leaders is to merely bring this to their attention, and check whether they still want the opportunity.

We are not going to take it personally. We are not going to feel bad and agonise about it if the team member no longer wants the opportunity. We will release them to find their happy place, and present the opportunity to someone who wants it.

Here is the opportunity

Would you like the opportunity?

Will you make the most of your opportunity?

Do you still want the opportunity?

Would you like the next opportunity?

Why should you feel bad if someone no longer wants the opportunity? It might be time to review if the opportunity is still attractive.

In short,

• Frame up the opportunity at the beginning.
• Ask if they want it.
• Check if they still want it
• Release them if they don’t
• Give someone else the opportunity
• Remember to show them the next opportunity