One of the keys to the success of humanity has been our willingness to cooperate with one another. Humans would never have survived on their own.
This willingness to help each other is based on mutual self-interest at first. Even then, someone often needs to ask for help, and the other agree to provide it. What develops from helping each other is goodwill. Goodwill is beneficial in relationships, and we call upon that goodwill when the need arises.
Offering to help proactively, instead of waiting to be asked, builds goodwill too. In a healthy relationship, the offer is reciprocated. Sometimes, that person never reciprocates, or initiates, and the energy between us dissipates. I think we naturally focus our attention where it is wanted and valued.
Someone once said, to have a friend you have to be a friend. To have a relationship, you have to invest in a relationship. You go first. No good standing in front of an empty fireplace and saying ‘you give me heat and I’ll give you wood’
In business, these relationships can be with clients, suppliers, peers and colleagues, shareholders and employers. Omni-directional relationships can provide support and assistance when you need it most. An introduction, a referral, an alert, some support, a favour, or a crowd when numbers are required. Donations, a hand, a room, a book, a loan, a tool, or a visit when you need it. An ear, a coffee, a check-in, a laugh, a bike ride on the weekend. An invitation to something special or nothing special at all.
Its not about a transaction. We are all on a journey through life, and each can make the others’ journey that little bit easier, or enjoyable, without any expectation of a return.
The payoff is an intrinsic reward – we feel better for having done it.
I enjoy investing in relationships. I’ll often check-in with people at random, to see how they’re doing, or just to have a chat. Invariably, something pops up that I can help them with. Or they me. I find it really convenient to do this when I am in the car, driving between coaching appointments, or before my first or after my last.
Chat apps or chat groups are an easy way to keep in touch, to check-in, or to share something inspiring. Liking someone’s posts can be like a little wave of support from a distance.
The Dalai Lama is quoted as saying “Be an optimist- it feels better.” I think it’s the same when investing in relationships.
